First day at work in 2013, got here by 8AM but didn’t feel like doing anything. Wrapping up deals and getting myself ready for my next chapter.
Had another discussion with him through whatsapp, same old stuff and same old conclusion. I don’t get it, I want this relationship and I can’t let go but then he wants it too and doesn’t want it; he didn’t want this but he couldn’t let go. Every one of us has two little guys fighting inside, one said, no, you can’t do this; the other said, yes you can do it. Who’s gonna win?
We can overcome our little guys inside, no need for other people to make decisions for you, no need for mama to step in or friends or psychologist, we know what we want and we should be brave enough to follow our heart.
My “yes” guy beat my “no” guy and i want to be with you, i’m not afraid of the past or anything. If you want to be with me, there’s nothing that can hold you back either. Be brave, we can do it.
Lol, I’ve never written anything this explicit about relationships in my blog, guess here has become my little detox. Haven’t been eating much and lost weight, my colleague Dan said, “you only had 10 pounds before and you lost 6? Now you only have 4 pound left!” Though it’s not the physical part that I’m concerned about, it’s the mental problem I’m worried about. Constantly in a low mood and sometimes got high like on a rollercoaster, you never know where it’s going or how scary it’s gonna be. I got nervous, diarrhea, eating disorder, I look terrible. I’ve asked for hypnosis, fortune teller, friends’s advice etc. I am just obsessed and mentally sick. The Princess has been bewitched, where is my Savior? Or is it only me who can save myself?
Super cold out today. Take care.
Closed a small deal as of just now, congrats to me. And btw, you look tired in the pic you just sent over. Going to get an eye exam now…